When I was browsing books in Biedronka about a month ago, in search of children books, I noticed a book with a nice cover and a catching title: "Najszczęśliwsze dzieci na świecie czyli wychowanie po holendersku" (Eng. The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less) by Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison. I want my children to be happy so I decided to buy the book and discover how the Dutch succeed in raising the happiest kids in the world (which was proven by the 2013 UNICEF report).
The book describes the day-to-day activities of Dutch parents from getting pregnant to raising teenagers. Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison - an American and a Brit, both married to Dutchmen and raising their kids in the Netherlands report back on what makes Dutch kids so happy and well adjusted. They share their personal observations but also refer to interviews with other parents and authorities in raising children and international reports examining children's quality of life.
The following aspects can be distinguished from the Dutch model that make it successful:
The book describes the day-to-day activities of Dutch parents from getting pregnant to raising teenagers. Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison - an American and a Brit, both married to Dutchmen and raising their kids in the Netherlands report back on what makes Dutch kids so happy and well adjusted. They share their personal observations but also refer to interviews with other parents and authorities in raising children and international reports examining children's quality of life.
The following aspects can be distinguished from the Dutch model that make it successful:
- Happy children have happy parents - Most parents in the Netherlands (26,8% men and 75% women) work part-time which gives them the additional time to rest, have hobbies and play with their children.
- Time together - Everyday they eat meals together. Children have chocolate sprinkles (hagelslag) for breakfast and simple hot dishes for supper. The atmosphere during the meals is nice and open and everyone is allowed to take part in the family discussion.
- Gezelling house - The Dutch live in cozy and comfortable houses furnished with wooden and natural elements. The houses are their shelters where they can feel safe and rest from every day duties.
- Simple and economic life - They don't like to spend too much money when it is not needed. They prefer to go camping holiday rather than on an expensive all inclusive trip. They do not organize lavish parties but invite only the closest family members and friends and serve simple snacks.
- Rules and boundaries - Children are given clear rules and when they do not follow them they are not punished but encouraged to apply them next time and praised for good behavior.
- Spend time outside - Children spend most of their time outside playing with other children in the garden or nearby park. Both parents and children cycle almost everyday regardless of the weather (even during the rain with an umbrella in one hand).
- Avoiding pressure - Parents do not compare their children to others. The children do not have to be the best. They are not overloaded with homework and have only a few scheduled “activities”.
- Independence - School children are allowed to play outside unsupervised. They are left to make their own decisions but need to take consequences of their choices.
- Governance support - Dutch parents receive support from their governance from nursery to help with a newborn to school education and the posibility of a part-time job.
All of this allows Dutch parents to enjoy their parenthood and keep the work-life balance. Of all the above points in the Dutch model, I miss the additional free time the most as I work full-time. I wish I could spend more time with my children, be able to meet my friends more often and have time for craft activities...
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| The Happiest Kids in the World: How Dutch Parents Help Their Kids (and Themselves) by Doing Less by Rina Mae Acosta and Michele Hutchison |
